direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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