Buhtt sex?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
