i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
