The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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