i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
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He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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