hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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