Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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