guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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