Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
