she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's official drugs can't kill me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
is it fun? or sober?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
