we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
