mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
A+ Viking dick
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