I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
