Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
