There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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