i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
