Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
