why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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