Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
