pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
