My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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