The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
