This dress was meant to end up on your floor
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
