Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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