ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if only i could text you this smell
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
