don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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