You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
