My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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