I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
