He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
