I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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