I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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