You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
