There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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