i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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