Me too!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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