My nipple is on Facebook.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
