Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
