I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
