I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im holly from the hills drunk
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
