all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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