TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
