so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
