hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
