I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it because I queefed?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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