Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
