I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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