Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
