I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
