So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize