Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
