Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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