I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
