He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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