Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
