Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
