new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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