Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
