I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize