I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
