You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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