I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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