I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
