When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
