come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
