i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
