Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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